It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize