Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize