I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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