ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
