legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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