Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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