The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Randomize
