when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize