I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
A+ Viking dick
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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