He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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