i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I met the friendliest cop last night
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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