Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
