its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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