It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
