i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
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If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
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Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship