he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
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