Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
its not stalking. its research.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
