we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
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there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
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I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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