scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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