New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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