you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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