I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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