well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize