Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
