After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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