Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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