hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
