He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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