ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
