He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
