i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
