Already got asked if we're dating
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
