Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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