Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
