it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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