I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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