But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize