i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
