If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
