i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize