i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
