Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
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Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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