Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
17 year olds will be the death of me.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize