physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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