you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
