no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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