I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
did i walk over a car last night?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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