Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
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When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
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Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.