Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.