me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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