my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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