tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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