"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Randomize
