He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
