One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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