So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings