Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.