Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"